And Finally

Police responding to reports of a child calling for help were relieved to find that the screams were coming from a goat. A man in Ottawa called police after hearing what sounded like a child calling for help from a nearby wooded area, CBC reports.

An item of jewellery has become the bane of a police force after it appealed for help in finding its "rightful owner". The item in question is a replica of the One Ring from The Lord of the Rings.

A suspected phone thief has been arrested after police allegedly found more than 30 mobile phones in his cycle shorts. Police recovered the phones after blocking the exits at a rock concert when dozens of people reported lost phones.

A man has been jailed after brazenly smoking a joint while in the dock for alleged possession of cannabis. After delivering a polemic against the criminalisation of the drug, Spencer Boston, 20, pulled out a joint and lit it.

Parents can not name their children after the Devil, naming authorities in Iceland have ruled. The country's naming committee, which regulates baby names, refused a request to add "Lusifer" to its official register.

The UK's pensions regulator has issued a fine – against another watchdog. The Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) was taken to task by the regulator in a rare case of one watchdog fining another.

The former stockbroker whose memoir was adapted into Martin Scorsese's The Wolf of Wall Street has accused the film's production company of fraud. Jordan Belfort created a stock manipulation scheme and was subsequently jailed for securities fraud in 1999.

A lawyer has been forced to pay over £2,000 after a bust-up in the front row of an opera house. Matthew Feargrieve, a solicitor specialising in corporate and investment funds law, was sentenced this week after being found guilty of common assault last month, MyLondon reports.

A man who clocked in for work in his pants before getting dressed did nothing wrong, a court has ruled. Police officer Alberto Muraglia, 58, was caught on a hidden camera clocking in at his office in just a T-shirt and underpants.

Witnesses and complainants have been told to bring their own water and tissues to court after a cash-strapped courthouse scrapped its provisions. The money-saving move applies across the board, meaning police, prosecutors and defence lawyers will also be denied free water and tissues.

A judge cited hit TV sitcom Seinfeld as he allowed an appeal from a man convicted in absentia after missing a rescheduled court hearing. The man had attended court on time for the original scheduled hearing, which was subsequently cancelled, but then missed the rescheduled hearing by a couple of hou

A bank robber who disguised himself with a pillow case had to remove it mid-robbery when he realised he couldn't see through it. Matthew Davies, 47, forgot to make eye holes in the pillow case he put over his head while robbing a bank in the Scottish town of Dunfermline last year.

Japan is planning new legislation to protect its prized wagyu beef from being reared in neighbouring China. Farmers are worried that smugglers are ramping up efforts to bring wagyu cattle to China in defiance of a two-decade export ban.

A goalkeeper who was hit by a football has won a £500,000 payout over the injury. Darren Conquer, 47, ruptured his biceps tendon during a football game in 2003, but the injury was not properly diagnosed until the following year.

A man has asked a judge to let him resolve a dispute with his ex-wife and her lawyer through "trial by combat" with samurai swords. David Ostrom, 40, told the court that he could secure the Japanese swords within 12 weeks to allow for the trio to "resolve our disputes on the field of battle".