And Finally

A pensioner has been banned from every single farm in the UK after he inserted his fist into a cow’s rectum while performing a sex act. John Curno, 80, was found guilty of outraging public decency following a spate of bovine molestations.

The French government is cracking down on supermarket promotions blamed for the "Nutella riots" that recently made worldwide headlines. Economy Minister Bruno Le Maire, unveiling plans to tighten rules on sales, said: "We can't have scenes like this every few days in France."

Three passengers have been arrested in two airports in just two days on suspicion of smuggling 20 gold biscuits in their rectums. Customs officials at two airports in Assam, in north-east India, said they had recovered a remarkable amount of gold from the passengers.

A woman who went to court over damage caused to her car by walnuts falling from her neighbour's tree has been told to accept the "fact of nature". The woman claimed around €3,000 worth of damage was caused to her car by falling nuts on a windy day in October 2013.

Mexican drug cartel boss "El Chapo" has promised not to have any jurors from his upcoming trial murdered. He made the assurance in a motion requesting that members of the jury should not be kept anonymous and under police protection.

A judge who told jurors that God had revealed to him the defendant wasn't guilty has been made subject to an official complaint. Judge Jack Robison, of Comal County, Texas, came into the jury room at the conclusion of the trial of a sex trafficker and told jurors that God had told him that the defen

A self-proclaimed psychic has been jailed for evading tax on over £2.5 million in payments for performing exorcisms. Sally Ann Johnson, 41, was paid the massive sum over several years by an elderly woman who believed that she was possessed by demons.

A man has been accused of repeatedly punching himself in the face to avoid taking a breathalyser test. Police discovered Brian Fogg, 27, sitting in a car stuck in a ditch in Belfast, Miami last week, according to WGME-TV.

Police who attempted to ticket a car during a cold snap discovered it was made of snow. Simon Laprise, 33, an artist and machinist, had built the car outside his house after heavy snowfall earlier this month.

Police are on the hunt for a woman who posed as a dominatrix in order to tie up an unwitting man and rob his house. The unnamed victim, 30, said he found the woman online and invited her to his home for what promised to be a night of kinky fun.

A woman has been banned from contacting her parish priest after bombarding him with sexually explicit emails. Claire Timpson, 44, told the clergyman in 48 emails that she loved him and wanted to be in a relationship with him, the Daily Record reports. She also made at least one unsolicited appearanc

A prisoner who claimed that drugs found to be concealed in his rectum did not belong to him has lost his appeal. Edwin Greco Wylie-Biggs, 36, was sentenced to an extra three to six years in prison after officers strip-searching him found a blue balloon containing K2 (synthetic marijuana) sticking ou

A solicitor who was struck off following his criminal convictions for fraud and theft has received an MBE in the New Year's Honours list. Gurmit Singh Randhawa, 65, was struck off by the Solicitors' Disciplinary Tribunal in 1997 after he was convicted of three counts of conspiracy to defraud and one

A prisoner who was mistakenly declared dead was rescued after staff at a morgue heard him snoring from inside a body bag. Gonzalo Montoya Jiménez, 29, was believed to be dead after being found unconscious in his prison cell in Asturias, northern Spain.

A drunken reveller at a music festival got more than he bargained for after he started a fight with a plainclothes police officer. Wayne Liang, 38, was arrested after he pushed sergeant Zhang Zhengyang off his seat and stomped on his foot at the Ultra Music Festival in 2016.